~ Delta Poetry Review ~

Angbeen Abbas

Playing House

It takes me so long to undo my suitcases when I move. In so many moments,

I dream that I am on the bench outside the park and the sun keeps pouring

its torrential light and I know that somewhere along the line I find a home.

Sometimes I wake up from it and feel nervous. In the grey light of October

morning I feel the dream turn sour, ossified in the rain. I'm trying not to

look at Screen Time or Zoopla, new fittings, SpareRoom profiles. I live here

and as a consequence I fear being terrified into staying the same.

This could be home and tomorrow it could be double bed in 2-person

flatshare all amenities. I was always lucky to be here as long as I managed

anyway. Perhaps it will always feel this tenuous. For now, I'm trying

to hold still to watch the lights, the rain, the pouring of the lamp, the memory

of fireflies back home. All the butterflies are departing but they're waving

before the fell swoop, before the night air is sharp again.

Angbeen Abbas is a writer based in London, writing about families, homelands, and bodies. They've been shortlisted for the Zeenat Haroon Rashid Prize 2021, and their poetry has appeared in Sweet Tree Review. They tweet @angb3en.